Tuesday, November 22, 2016

On the Anniversary of JFK's Assassination, Trump Unable to Account for His Whereabouts on November 22, 1963

An anonymous source alleges that President-elect Donald Trump may have been involved in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. When pressed by reporters, Trump said "Let me tell you, I would've been a tremendous assassin. Tremendous. Believe me. I didn't do it, but I would've been better than that loser Lee Harvey Oswald. So much better."

Trump, 17 years of age at the time, and a student at the New York Military Academy, could not produce a plausible alibi. Historians are skeptical that he was present in the Texas Book Repository. Said Doris Kearns Goodwin, "That dude don't like books!" David McCullough, said to be halfway through the second draft of his biography of the president-elect, added "More like the Texas Comic Book Repository! Am I right?"

The Donald in 1964.